Facebook
by waterpoloplayer
Summary: The Percy Jackson books told through Facebook! Hilarity shall ensure!
1. Chapter 1

_I know I should be updating, but I have a HUGE case of writers block._

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**Percy Jackson** has changed his current position to **Camp Half Blood**

**(Chiron **and** Grover Underwood **like this**)  
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**Percy Jackson **is friends with **Chiron,** **Annabeth Chase, Luke Castellan**, and 95 other people.

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**Clarisse La Rue: **Really hates **Percy Jackson** and toilet water…

**(Annabeth Chase **and **Percy Jackson** like this)

**Annabeth Chase: **For once, I agree with you.

(**Clarisse La Rue **likes this)

**Percy Jackson: **Wanna gargle with toilet water again, Clarisse? Shut your mouth

**(**12 people like this)

**Clarisse La Rue: **You're dead meat, Prissy.

(**Ares, Annabeth Chase, **and 6 other people like this.)

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**Chiron: **Campers! Capture the flag is this Friday! You all know your teams!

(176 people like this)

**Annabeth Chase: **Blue team will dominate!

(93 people like this)

**Clarisse La Rue: **In your dreams, Miss. Princess!

(82 people like this)

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**Percy Jackson: **Officially sucks at everything except canoeing

**Clarisse La Rue: **Got that right

(**Annabeth Chase** and 3 other people like this.)

**Luke Castellan: **You could be a Hermes kid…

**Grover Underwood: **Or a minor god…

**Percy Jackson: **I don't care…

**Percy Jackson: **The naiads have sure taken a liking to me, though ;)

(**Luke Castellan, Grover Underwood, **and 52 others like this)

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**Percy Jackson **has been claimed by **Poseidon

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**Chiron **to **Percy Jackson: **Zeus's master bolt has been stolen. He suspects you. Do you accept the quest?

(**Grover Underwood, Annabeth Chase, **and** Luke Castellan** like this)

**Percy Jackson: **DISLIKE!

(**Clarisse La Rue **likes this)

**Percy Jackson: **I accept… Grover wanna come?

**(Grover Underwood **and** Annabeth Chase **like this.)

**Clarisse La Rue: **^^ DISLIKE!

**Chiron: **One person has offered to come on the quest, if you would accept her help.

**Annabeth Chase: **If you're gonna save the world, I'm going to make sure you don't mess it up.

(**Clarisse La Rue **likes this)

**Percy Jackson: **DISLIKE!

**Percy Jackson: **… Fine…

**(Annabeth Chase **and** Grover Underwood** like this)

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**The Oracle** sent **Percy Jackson **a private message:

_You shall go west, and face the god who has turned,_

_You shall find what was stolen, and see it safely returned,_

_You shall be betrayed by one who calls you a friend,_

_And you shall fail to save what matters most, in the end.

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**Luke Castellan: **Hopes **Percy Jackson** puts those shoes to good use. He better kill some monsters for me!

(**Annabeth Chase **likes this)

**Luke Castellan: **Good luck Annabeth! ;)

(**Annabeth Chase** likes this)

**Grover Underwood: **Hey!

**(Grover Underwood **likes this)

**Luke Castellan: **Sorry Grover! Good luck!

**(Grover Underwood **likes this)

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**Annabeth Chase: **Swears to Zeus and every other god out there (except maybe Poseidon), if **Percy Jackson** looks at another fast food sign or stares at another kid in the backseat of a car, I'm going to gut him like the fish he is and finish this quest myself!

(**Annabeth Chase, Clarisse La Rue, **and 2 others like this)

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**Grover Underwood: **On my way to Hades. What was I thinking?

(**Percy Jackson** likes this)

**Annabeth Chase: **C'mon Goat boy! We can do this!

(85 people like this)

**Grover Underwood:** Maine is very nice this mine if year though...

(**Percy Jackson **likes this)

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**Percy Jackson: **This reminds me way too much of that AC/DC song…

**(Grover Underwood, Luke Castellan, **and 86 other people like this)

**Annabeth Chase: **Stupid Seaweed Brain…

**Percy Jackson: **O.o What?

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_Suckish ending, I know. I also Know it's short, but nobody likes writers block. Sorry if I miss some stuff or get the order wrong. I haven't read this book in FOREVER! Review?_


	2. Chapter 2

**Percy Jackson: **Thank you **Grover Underwood** for eating out hackysack

**Grover Underwood: **In my defense, YOU aimed it at my mouth! AND it was an apple. What was I supposed to do?

**Annabeth Chase: **Let me get it because I'm the only one on this quest who can play hacky sack

**(Annabeth Chase** likes this**)

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**Percy Jackson: **thinks **Annabeth Chase** needs to get an ego reduction. I'm not that bad at hacky sack, am I?

**(Annabeth Chase** and **Grover Underwood** like this)

**Annabeth Chase: **Coming from you! And yes, you are that bad at hacky sack…

(**Grover Underwood **likes this)

**Percy Jackson: **GROVER! YOU TRAITOR!

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**Grover Underwood: **Perfectly good tin cans, gone

**Annabeth Chase: **It's all **Percy Jackson**'s fault… If he hadn't come back for us, we would have been fine…

**Percy Jackson: **Whaaa? Puh-lease! The Kindly Ones would have killed you!

**Annabeth Chase: **Do you really think that, Seaweed Brain? We would have been much better if you had just LISTENED!

**Grover Underwood: **Ohhhh, chick fight

**Clarisse La Rue: **My money's on Miss. Princess

(**Annabeth Chase** and **Luke Castellan** like this)

**Luke Castellan: **I'm (shockingly) with Clarisse

**Grover Underwood: **I second that

**Percy Jackson:** Again, TRAITOR!

**Annabeth Chase: **I win…

**Percy Jackson: **And it's NOT a chick fight! I'm a guy!

**Clarisse La Rue: **That's what you THINK, Prissy

(**Annabeth Chase** and 54 other people like this)

**Percy Jackson: **I hate you all…

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**Annabeth Chase: **"It's just a photo, Annabeth. What's the harm?" –**Percy Jackson**, when Medusa wanted to "take a picture of us". And this is what's supposed to be saving the world?

**(Grover Underwood **likes this)

**Percy Jackson: **I am a WHO not a WHAT. Also, how was I supposed to know?

(**Percy Jackson** likes this)

**Annabeth Chase: **Oh, I don't know… Maybe listen to **Grover Underwood** and I. The entire time, "C'mon, Percy! Let's get out of here!"

**(Annabeth Chase, Grover Underwood, **and 2 others like this)

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**Percy Jackson **to **Grover Underwood: **How much you wanna bet those two other people who liked Annabeth's (very rude) comment were **Clarisse La Rue **and **Luke Castellan**?

(2 people like this)

**Percy Jackson: **:(**  
**

(2 people like this)

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**Percy Jackson: **Does everybody hate me?

**(Clarisse La Rue, Zeus, **and 12 others like this)

**Percy Jackson: **Who are the twelve others?

**Clarisse La Rue: **11 of them are my half-siblings

**Percy Jackson: **And the other one?

**Dionysus: **Peter Johnson, shouldn't you be working on your quest?

**Percy Jackson: **When is facebook getting a dislike button?

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**Grover Underwood** sent **Percy Jackson **a private message: I need you to know something. I was the satyr who let Thalia be killed. I'm a horrible protector. I know I shouldn't have agreed to this. I don't want to fail you. I just wanted to have forgiveness for letting your mom die and I really want a searchers license. I'm sorry. :/

**Percy Jackson **replied to **Grover Underwood**'s message: C'mon, G-man! We can do this! It's ok, I trust you. And you didn't do anything on purpose. I wouldn't have anybody else on this quest.

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**Percy Jackson: **Corn Chips for breakfast. Yum…

**(Annabeth Chase **and **Grover Underwood **like this)

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**Annabeth Chase** and **Grover Underwood **are now friends with **Gladiola

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**Annabeth Chase **to **Percy Jackson: **I added the dog, you add the dog.

**(Grover Underwood **and **Gladiola** like this)

**Percy Jackson: **No way.

**Annabeth Chase: *** Pulls out knife *

(**Gladiola **and** Clarisse La Rue **like this)

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**Percy Jackson **is now friends with **Gladiola

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**Percy Jackson: **3-hour layover to Denver

(**Annabeth Chase** likes this)

**Percy Jackson: **Why do you like that? We are on a time limit!

**Annabeth Chase: **So? It's not like we can just leave. We have no transportation.

**Percy Jackson: **Why do I have a feeling that there's an ulterior motive to this?

(**Annabeth Chase **likes this)

**Grover Underwood: **Because Annabeth's an architect freak and the St. Louis arch is right there.

(**Annabeth Chase **likes this)

**Annabeth Chase: **Yup! C'mon, sightseeing.

**Luke Castellan: **Oh, I do not envy you…

(173 people like this)

**Percy Jackson: **Why do I have a feeling that all of camp just liked that?

(173 people like this)

**Annabeth Chase: **HURRY UP!

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_A/N Sorry if I'm moving too fast. You know hard this is though? Harder than you'd think. Also, you can comment ANY pairing (no matter how weird) and I'll try and fit it in. It might make the chapters longer and it would add more humor. And Percabeth, just wait. I still have to go by the timeline. Could somebody tell me if I'm forgetting anything? And after this, he goes to the diner, right? I haven't read the books in forever and my friend has my copy, so I can't go by that. I'm doing this all by memory. Thank you and review _


	3. Chapter 3

**Grover Underwood: **Dear **Annabeth Chase**, No, I do not care about the arch. I just want food.

(**Percy Jackson** likes this)

**Annabeth Chase: **Grrrrrr It's an amazing piece of architecture!

**Percy Jackson: **I don't care! :(

(**Grover Underwood **likes this)

**Grover Underwood: **Lucky for us, we need to go because it's closing soon.

(**Percy Jackson** and **Grover Underwood** likes this)

**Percy Jackson: **Yessssss!

**Annabeth Chase: **Hurtful!

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**Percy Jackson: **Echidna… Oh gods…

**Annabeth Chase: **What? We leave you alone for TWO SECONDS and you get attacked by ECHIDNA!

**Percy Jackson: **…And the Chimera…

**Grover Underwood: **What?

**Annabeth Chase: **How'd you get out?

**Percy Jackson: **I, um, sort of… fell?

**Annabeth Chase: **You FELL?

**Percy Jackson: **Uh, yeah.

**Grover Underwood: *** eating popcorn * And what took you so long, Mr. Jackson?

(**Annabeth Chase **likes this)

**Annabeth Chase: **Yes, what DID happen?

**Percy Jackson: **Well, there was this naiad and she gave me these pearls and told me to not trust the gifts, whatever that means…

**Annabeth Chase: **Anything else?

**Percy Jackson: **Uh yeah… She said something about my dad wanting me to go to the Santa Monica pier.

**Grover Underwood: **You DO know you can't ignore a summons from a god, right? I mean, you technically could, but you'd be dead afterwards…

**Annabeth Chase: **We'll get you to Santa Monica, m'kay? Right now, let's find food.

(**Percy Jackson **and **Grover Underwood** like this)

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**Percy Jackson** and 2 other people are now friends with **Ares

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**Ares** to **Percy Jackson:**

This is also to your little punk friends **Grover Underwood** and **Annabeth Chase**. I was on a date with my girlfriend when I forgot my shield.

**Percy Jackson: **And you're telling us this… why?

**Annabeth Chase: **Ok Jackson, I know you're new to this, but he's an immortal. Be polite.

**Ares: **S'ok, attitude don't mean nothin' to me s'long as they know I'm the boss.

**Percy Jackson: **My question

**Ares: **I need you punks to retrieve it for me. I have more important business to do.

**Percy Jackson: **Sorry, but we have more important things to do.

**Annabeth Chase: **Percy…

(**Grover Underwood** likes this)

**Ares:** Trying to find the bolt? Please, if some of the gods (including me) couldn't find a weapon that powerful, then you have no chance.

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**Ares **sent **Percy Jackson** a private message: If you do this for me, I'll tell you something about your mom.

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**Percy Jackson: Annabeth Chase**, **Grover Underwood**, and I are going to find **Ares**'s shield!

(**Ares** likes this)

**Grover Underwood: **Why the sudden change in heart?

**Percy Jackson: **Later. So, where do we go?

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**Grover Underwood:** **Annabeth Chase** likes to steal stuff… and go on the "Thrill Ride O' Love" with **Percy Jackson**.

(**Luke Castellan** and 28 other people like this)

**Luke Castellan: **The stealing part I mean…

**Silena Beauregard: **This is soooo cute!

**Percy Jackson: **Dislike!

(**Annabeth Chase** likes this)

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**Annabeth Chase: **Spiders… So. Many. Spiders.

(**Percy Jackson **likes this)

**Percy Jackson: **Watching you scream was pretty funny…

**Annabeth Chase: **It's also going to be pretty funny when I watch you scream while I put your HEAD on a STAKE

**Percy Jackson: **… ow …

(**Grover Underwood** likes this)

**Grover Underwood: **I must admit, that gave me an amazing mental picture of your head on a stake, but you're smiling like you won the lottery.

(**Annabeth Chase** likes this)

**Percy Jackson: **GROVER! YOU! YOU TRAITOR! DISLIKE!

(**Annabeth Chase** and** Grover Underwood** like this)

**Annabeth Chase: **I could be really mean and give the image **Luke Castellan** gave us.

**Luke Castellan: **Do it!

**Grover Underwood: **You mean the one where he told us to "imagine Voldemort as a rock star"?

(**Luke Castellan **likes this)

**Annabeth Chase: **That's the one

**Percy Jackson: **Ew ew ew. Oh my gods. That's never coming out of my mind, huh?

**Grover Underwood: **Nope

(**Luke Castellan** likes this)

**Percy Jackson: **I pray for a dislike button…

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**Ares **to **Percy Jackson**: Seems like you punks made it out alive.

**Percy Jackson: **Yeah, and you tricked us. You're a big jerk, you know that?

**Annabeth Chase**: PERCY!

(**Grover Underwood** likes this)

**Percy Jackson:** You still owe me.

**Ares**: I'll give you a ride, some cash, food, and Oreos.

(**Grover Underwood** and **Annabeth Chase** like this)

**Annabeth Chase**: Thank you, Lord Ares.

**Grover Underwood**: Accio Doublestuff

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**Ares** sent a message to **Percy Jackson: **Your mom's not dead. Hades has her hostage.

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**Grover Underwood**: Vegas baby! Woot!

(**Percy Jackson **and 127 other people like this)

**Annabeth Chase:** We need to focus!

**Percy Jackson**: We also need rest.

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**Percy Jackson **changed his current position to **Lotus Hotel and Casino**

(**Grover Underwood **likes this)

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_A/N Ok, I'm sorry for a few things:_

_1. Not updating. If you look at my profile, you'll understand._

_2. The harry potter references. I was on a Harry Potter kick while writing this._

_3. Any mistakes, not doing something justice, forgetting something. I'm doing this by memory, so yeah._

_Ok, so I've decided to add more humor/add the pairings/make it easier to show, I'm going to write about Percy's time when he's not at camp and add some stuff or take out minor stuff (e.g. the IM with Luke. Was it really necessary? Exactly.) I will keep everything I can, though. Review please, because it would make my day :D  
_


	4. Chapter 4

**Percy Jackson: **

**Annabeth Chase **is so wasted,  
Acting crazy,  
Making a scene,  
Like it's her birthday!  
Drinking champagne,  
Going insane,  
Falling on me,  
Like it's her birthday!

(**Grover Underwood, Luke Castellan**, and 164 others like this)

**Travis Stoll: **It's about time she has fun!

(**Connor Stoll **and 160 others like this)

**Luke Castellan: **Getting your party on, Annabeth?

**Percy Jackson: **Ya, she's going crazy. Fake ID and everything. She's been eyeing this one other drunk guy for the past half an hour… ;)

**Luke Castellan: **O.o

**Annabeth Chase: **In the words of Percy, DISLIKE! I AM NOT! I'M COMPLETELY SOBER! I'm playing a very educational game that has to do with architecture, thank you very much.

**Connor Stoll: **You just lost ALL of your cool points, you know that, right?

**Travis Stoll: **Ya, now you're lame again

(**Percy Jackson **likes this)

**Annabeth Chase: **Humph

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**Percy Jackson **added **Darrin **as a friend

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**Darrin: **Just gotta love 1977!

**Percy Jackson: **1977?

**Darrin: **Ya, that's the year…

**Percy Jackson: **How long have you been here?

**Darrin: **Two weeks, and the games are getting better and better!

**Percy Jackson: **You sure?

**Darrin: **Bad vibes, man, bad vibes

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**Darrin **removed **Percy Jackson **as a friend.

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**Percy Jackson **to **Annabeth Chase:** We gotta get outta here. Time speeds up. You stay here for a few hours, you're here for a few days.

**Annabeth Chase: **Stop being such a Seaweed Brain!

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**Percy Jackson **tagged **Annabeth Chase** in a photo.

**Annabeth Chase: **DISLIKE! Did you just HAVE to tag me in a photo with tarantulas?

**Percy Jackson: **Yes; now lets get Grover and go.

**Annabeth Chase: **And hurry

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**Grover Underwood: **Die humans! Die, silly nasty person!

**Annabeth Chase: **Get off your furry goat behind and let's go!

**Grover Underwood: *** Turns controller to Annabeth and Percy * PEW PEW PEW!

**Percy Jackson: **Grover… We'll drag you if we have to!

**Grover Underwood: **Pew?

**Annabeth Chase: **Let's go

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**Percy Jackson: **It's June 20th…

**Luke Castellan: **That sucks…

**Grover Underwood: **Duh…

**Annabeth Chase: **You know what this means, right?

**Percy Jackson: **Ya. We only have one day to finish our quest.

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_A/N So sorry for the late update. I've been so busy and life's just been an emotional rollercoaster. Sorry it's so short; I just wanted to get SOMETHING out to you guys. _

_Also, if you're following my shoulder injury, I was in physical therapy and apparently my injury is so bad because I have a misplaced shoulder blade AND I cannot use it right. How amazing is that? Ugh. _

_If I don't update at least ONE OTHER story by Wednesday, I want you just to pester me with anonymous reviews, PMs, and everything you can think of, kay? Vote on my poll so I know what story to update next, please! :D_

_Reviews make my day!_


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